Ah, the law—humanity’s noble attempt at maintaining order, preventing chaos, and, apparently, ensuring that donkeys don’t nap in bathtubs. Yes, you read that correctly. Across the world, lawmakers have spent valuable time drafting some truly mind-boggling legislation, most of which seems to target behaviors that, frankly, shouldn’t need policing. From outlawing Sunday pink pants to enforcing waistline standards, let’s dive into the legal fever dreams that somehow made it onto official law books.

1. Arizona’s War on Sleepy Donkeys

In the great state of Arizona, it is illegal for a donkey to sleep in a bathtub. Not a bed, not a couch—just a bathtub. Because, clearly, that’s where we draw the line when it comes to livestock bedtime arrangements.

The origins of this law date back to the 1920s, when one free-spirited rancher allowed his donkey to slumber in an abandoned tub. Then, as fate (and questionable infrastructure) would have it, a dam burst, sending the tub—and its unsuspecting donkey occupant—on an impromptu rafting trip. The town, presumably not in the mood for an emergency donkey rescue operation, passed a law banning the practice outright.

One can only imagine the heated town hall debate:
“We need to fix our dams!”
“No, we need to ban donkey bath time!”

Common sense? Optional.

2. Singapore: Nudity is a Privilege, Not a Right

Feeling liberated in your own home? Thinking about walking from the shower to your closet without a towel? Think again, criminal.

In Singapore, if someone catches a glimpse of your bare self through a window, you could be fined up to S$2,000. So, if you live in a glass house, enjoy your expensive game of daily peekaboo with the government.

The only logical conclusion is that Singaporeans have elite curtain-drawing skills, honed through years of fearing financial ruin via accidental exposure. The safest bet? Shower fully clothed, just in case.

3. Australia vs. Hot Pink Pants

Down in Australia, it was once illegal to wear hot pink trousers on Sunday afternoons. Why? Because modesty, obviously.

Nothing screams “public indecency” quite like neon-colored legwear, and the authorities were not about to let citizens prance around in their Pepto-Bismol-colored pants, at least not on the Lord’s day. While this law is no longer enforced, it remains on the books—a relic of a time when fashion crimes were actual crimes.

Moral of the story? If you want to look like a walking highlighter, at least wait until Monday.

4. Japan’s "Big Brother" Waistline Watch

Japan’s government has decided that body shaming should be legally mandated. Under the Metabo Law, men must keep their waistlines under 90 cm, and women under 85 cm—or else.

Who enforces this? Employers and local governments, who literally conduct annual waist measurements on 50 million citizens. Those who fail don’t face imprisonment, but they do get hit with mandatory diet counseling, motivational support (read: peer pressure), and possibly even company-wide fines. Because nothing says "corporate morale booster" like HR announcing, “Hey, Steve, drop a few inches or we all get taxed!”

A law that legally enforces portion control? Somewhere, a French fry is crying.

5. China: Fireworks Storage Limits—Because Apparently That Was Necessary

In China, it is illegal to store more than one tonne of explosives in your basement. Yes, one tonne.

The real question here isn’t why this law exists, but how many people were out there stockpiling so much TNT that lawmakers had to step in and say, “Okay, guys, let’s keep it under 2,000 pounds, alright?”

Imagine the guy who inspired this legislation:
“Sir, you have two tonnes of fireworks in your basement.”
“And?”
“That’s illegal.”
“Fine. I’ll only keep one tonne.”

The fact that there’s a limit rather than an outright ban suggests the government is okay with a little at-home pyrotechnics—just not too much. Safety first, after all.

 6. The Philippines’ High-Stakes Coin Toss Democracy

Elections in the Philippines can be intense, but if two candidates tie, democracy does what it does best—flips a coin.

Yes, under Philippine law, if an election ends in a deadlock, officials resolve the matter through drawing lots or a literal coin toss. Because when it comes to leadership, why bother with recounts, policies, or public debate when you can just let Lady Luck decide?

Imagine running a rigorous, months-long political campaign, shaking hands, kissing babies, debating policies, only to lose because your opponent called heads. Truly inspiring.

Democracy: now available in casino format.

7. Paris: The Speedo Enforcement Agency

If you're planning to take a dip in a public pool in Paris’ 11th arrondissement, leave the board shorts at home. Only tight-fitting swim trunks are allowed.

The logic? Apparently, baggy swimwear is seen as unhygienic, as it could be worn outside and bring in dirt. Of course, the French solution to this is not “wash your swimwear,” but rather mandatory Speedos.

So, for all those insecure about donning skin-tight lycra in public—sorry, but it’s the law. Liberté, égalité, but definitely no baggy board shorts.

 The Verdict

While most laws exist to protect the public, some seem more like fever dreams of overly enthusiastic legislators. Do we really need legal intervention to stop donkeys from napping in bathtubs? Should the government really care about the cut of your swimwear? And do election winners really need to be determined by sheer luck?

As absurd as these laws are, they serve as a reminder that somewhere, at some point, someone actually thought they were necessary. So, the next time you complain about your local laws, just be grateful you can wear hot pink pants on a Sunday and let your donkey sleep wherever it pleases.

For now.